What Spade Taught me About Worthiness

One of the things I find most fascinating about animals is how clearly they reflect the deeper patterns many of us experience ourselves.

Spade reminded me of that recently.

Her mom reached out because something didn't quite add up.

By all accounts, Spade had landed in a beautiful life.

There were very few expectations.

Ride if it feels good.

Don't ride if it doesn't.

No pressure.

No demands.

No performance requirements.

And yet something still felt unsettled.

Whenever training entered the picture, anxiety seemed to surface.

When I connected with Spade, the answer came immediately.

She wasn't responding to her current life.

She was responding to her old one.

Before arriving in her new home, Spade had lived in a very different environment.

Schedules.

Expectations.

Performance.

Achievement.

A life where being useful and productive carried tremendous weight.

Those circumstances were long gone.

But part of her still believed she had something to prove.

She would watch the other horses being worked and immediately compare herself.

Should I be doing that?

Am I falling behind?

Am I doing enough?

No one around her was asking those questions.

She was asking them herself.

The environment had changed.

The story hadn't.

Isn't it remarkable how long we can continue living inside a reality that no longer exists?

Life changes.

Relationships change.

Circumstances change.

Yet some part of us continues living by rules that no longer apply.

We keep striving.

Pushing.

Proving.

Performing.

Not because anyone is asking us to.

Because somewhere along the way, we forgot that the conditions had changed.

During our session, I asked Spade's mom something.

"What if she needs to hear that you truly mean it?"

So she looked at Spade and said,

"I love riding with you.

But you don't have to earn your place here.

If someday you don't want to be ridden anymore, that's okay too."

The relief was immediate.

You could feel it.

Not because anything in Spade's life had changed.

Because her understanding of it had.

With communication, energetic support, and time to integrate, she began releasing the pressure she had been carrying.

I've come to believe that healing isn't always about changing our lives.

Sometimes it's realizing our lives have already changed...

...and allowing ourselves to finally live inside the new reality.

These days, Spade's partnership with her mom looks very different.

Relaxed routines.

Gentle training.

Mental stimulation.

Movement that feels good in her body.

Plenty of time simply being a horse.

A relationship rooted in connection rather than expectation.

Spade already belonged.

She simply hadn't realized it yet.

I wonder...

Where in your own life can you give yourself permission to release striving... and rest in what you've already created?

With love,

Annaliese