He wanted less

One of the greatest privileges of my work is discovering that every animal has their own language of love, in how they express it and in how they receive it.

Recently I spoke with a beautiful horse whose person adored him. Her devotion was easy to feel. She had built an incredible team around him: bodywork, acupuncture, professional training, a behaviorist, and thoughtful management.

She was doing everything she knew to do, and her hope was simple. She wanted him to feel well enough to enjoy being ridden again.

From the outside, it looked like the picture of exceptional care.

Then I asked him what he wanted, and his answer surprised all of us.

He wanted less.

Less intervention.
Less bodywork.
Less training.
Less focus on getting him ready to ride.

He wanted more room to be a horse. To breathe. To settle. To experience life without feeling like he was working toward someone else’s goal.

His person loved him deeply and wanted the very best for him. She believed that helping him meant continuing to work toward riding again. He was asking for something different, and he felt most supported through more space.

That conversation reminded me of something I see again and again, with animals and with people. Love is shaped by how it’s received as much as by what we intend.

When we’re working hard to help someone, it’s worth asking what they’re longing for. Sometimes it’s room to exhale. Room to integrate. Room to discover who they are without carrying expectations that no longer belong to them.

We can keep caring and keep supporting, and we can change the question:

“What would support actually feel like for you?”

This horse answered it plainly, and he taught us something beautiful.

Sometimes love is revealed by our willingness to let go.

With love,
Annaliese