An Unexpected Conversation

I certainly didn't expect a session with a cat to turn into a relocation negotiation with a European hornet queen.

But some of my favorite conversations begin exactly that way.

During a session with one of my feline clients, his human asked if we could check in with someone unexpected.

A European hornet queen had begun building a nest on the family's terrace.

Understandably, no one wanted a hornet colony living quite that close to the house.

But they didn't want to harm her either.

So we asked if she'd be willing to talk.

When I connected with her, there was no anger or defensiveness.

As far as she was concerned, she'd simply found a good place to raise her family.

She had no idea there was a problem.

And that made perfect sense.

She couldn't know what the humans knew.

So I explained.

I told her that if she continued building there, eventually someone might become scared and spray the nest.

She listened.

And then she essentially asked me a very reasonable question.

"If not here... where would you like me to go?"

Fair question.

So we were now discussing real estate with a hornet queen.

Her human proposed several alternatives around the property.

There was an old hollow birch tree.

Several weathered birdhouses.

Places where she might be able to build and raise her family without coming into conflict with the humans nearby.

She agreed to explore them.

But before we finished, she shared something that has stayed with me.

She appreciated being asked.

And she wondered if her human friend might come visit her once she'd settled into her new home.

After all, animals from all over seem to find their way to this amazing woman's home.

Several stray cats have already found a loving home with her.

The vibes are immaculate on this corner, and apparently the hornet still wanted to be in the circle of goodness.

This entire interaction could so easily have begun from a completely different place.

You're dangerous.

You can't be here.

You have to go.

Instead, it began with curiosity.

Do you understand what's happening?

Can we explain our perspective?

Is there another solution that might work for all of us?

One of the misconceptions about animal communication is that it's a way of convincing animals to do what we want.

Communication creates understanding.

And understanding creates the possibility of choice.

Sometimes the animal changes.

Sometimes the human changes.

Sometimes everyone compromises.

And sometimes you find yourself helping a hornet queen shop for a new house.

I think about her often because she reminded me how quickly we categorize the beings around us.

Safe.

Dangerous.

Welcome.

Unwelcome.

Useful.

Pest.

Behind one of those labels was a little queen who thought she'd simply found a lovely place to raise her family.

She didn't know she was causing a problem.

She wasn't trying to frighten anyone.

And when someone took the time to explain what was happening, she was willing to consider another way.

Maybe we'll never fully understand the countless other beings we share this world with.

Maybe we don't need to.

Maybe sometimes it's enough to leave a little room for the possibility that there is something on the other side of the label worth listening to.

Thank you, little queen.

I'm glad we asked.

With love,

Annaliese